Have you ever looked back on some passed opinion you once had and
realized that maybe, just maybe, you were wrong?
This summer with my family has been the most fulfilling time I can ever remember having. The kids are growing up and as they do, I appreciate more about them: their more sophisticated sense of humor, the thoughtful comments and observations... but most of all, I enjoy hearing their opinions about "life".
My husband, Sam, is a traditionalist by nature.
One thing I like about him is his willingness to share his opinions,
however sometimes it ends up biting me in the ass.
Were it up to him, my main purpose in life would be much like that of what you would read about in a 1950's Home Economics text book - complete with lipstick and a string of pearls. He loves it when I'm home because the cooking is done - the laundry is folded and fresh every few days. The towels are arranged accordingly in the linen closet and a hot meal is on the table every day at the same time. The kids are well-adjusted. The dog is walked. The bed is made and the wife always smells pretty. Who wouldn't love to come home to all that? I sure would.
There was a day when my younger, more immature self was totally offended by this description of what a woman "should be". The resentment I had was blinding and my intention to prove it wrong was tireless. After having the babies, I was a SHM (stay-home-mom) - a title I loathed. Eventually I started work and during my days of working evenings and weekends, there were many times when Sam was home with the kids - cooking, cleaning, and child-rearing. (Daycare was a last resort scenario and they have spent little time under the care of anyone other than Sam or myself). Now, ten years later and with corporate experience under my belt, I have stumbled upon the realization the 1950's description isn't so bad.
I remember working such hours that I would go weeks without doing any laundry. Somehow, my socks had begun to miraculously appear in my drawer and his clothes were pressed. I was astonished and infinitely grateful. Where I would once do laundry begrudgingly; today I fold so it fits easily into its space, with crisp lines and extra fabric softener.
When I make the bed, I think about how good it feels to toss the covers back right before crawling into a well made bed, after a long day of work. I have had days when the bed represented the portal into a new day and I have felt the comfort of sinking into a bed that will wipe the day clean.
I once had a demanding schedule - and I remember how endearing it was when Sam would surprise me with a meal after a grueling day. Now, each meal - once tackled at the last minute and thrown together - is carefully planned, flavored and timed to suit his demanding schedule. We sit, as a family each night around the dinner table and we fill each other in on the day - what we've done, what we've been thinking about or what we'd like to do. These conversations are the elixir to shot nerves and impending deadlines.
I have willingly resigned myself to a lifestyle I once scoffed at - I am a homemaker.
The difference in the 'me' now, versus the 'me' then, is appreciation.
I have learned the value in giving to gain.
I have realized the benefits of having children who have had the daily tenderness of a present parent.
I have enjoyed a beautiful, organized home filled with happiness, laughter and love.
I have worked and I have been cared for and now, it is my turn.
As the pendulum of home economics swings, I am proud to say I have adapted and swung with it.
We are a modern day family - I am a modern day woman.
